AA Online? July 5, 2009
Posted by Bill G. in Second Life, alcoholics anonymous, intergroup, meetings, newcomers, online, speaking.trackback
In the last month, I have been attending some Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in Second Life (a virtual online world). I am still not sure what I think of this experience. I miss the ease and fluency of real life meetings, the close contact with other members, the ability to hear nuances of expression, both verbal and kinesthetic, in their stories. At the same time there is something quite compelling, for me, in these meetings.
For one thing, the Second Life meetings seem to be filled with newcomers, with people that are really struggling with the disease. Many of them don’t seem to know a great deal about the program and the SL meetings are offering them a safe and very anonymous way in. One of the things that I really like is the opportunity here to do some real 12th step work. Recently, I even began to sponsor a guy in Second Life. Of course, given my strange feelings about SL, my primary recommendation to him was to find a real life sponsor and attend some real life meetings. He has complied with that, and hasn’t used me as a sponsor since.
It still feels very wierd to me to introduce myself and then begin typing furiously when it is my time to share. I find myself parsing my writing into lines to try to show where my pauses must be. The content of what I write is much less spontaneous and my words are more carefully chosen when I am typing than when I am just speaking at a discussion meeting. And there is something frantic about it for me — I don’t want the other members to be waiting endlessly for the next line of my fine prose. Inevitably, my real life wife will start talking to me about something during my time to share with the group. ARRGH.
Still, there is something that feels like a real AA meeting to me, even given all of this. I intend to check out these meetings a little more. At the least, they could be useful if I am on the road or home in bed with the flu, or for some other reason unable to attend a real life meeting.
There are now lots of online ways to participate in AA. The best resource for meetings is the website of the Online Intergroup of AA. They have good information about anonymity, how to use groups, and extensive listings of online AA meetings.
I would love to hear about your experiences with AA online. What makes for a good online meeting? Where are your favorite online meetings? Do online meetings work for you?
This comment came to me from a friend in Second Life (SL) who has been active there much longer than I have. She sent it to me on an SL notecard and has given permission for me to upload it to this discussion:
Hi Bill . . . I just read through all the July posts, and of course the section on SL AA . . .
interesting take on it, my experience is a bit different, but then I’ve been here (in SL) since 2006 . .
. yes lots of newcomers, thank goodness, but also so many there with long term sobriety . . . 20+ years
. . . an inordinate percentage of the whole.
For me I like the consistency of the people . . . very similar to my RL home meeting which meets 7 days
a week, 7am m-f and 8am sat and sun. A lot of the same people come every day, and you really get to
know eachother . . . some, like me, have been attending this particular home group for over 15 years . .
. we get about 75-100 people every day. At 7am! LOL
AA in SL is this way for me too . . . A lot of the same people attend a lot of meetings, and share about
their lives, get support from others, and develop a network of AA aquaintances that check up on you when
you’ve been challenged, cheer with you when you’ve accomplished something difficult, and are there for
you when you just need to taalk to another drunk.
Also important to me is the ability 24/7 to IM on the AA or FOBW Groups if you need help or comfort or
just someone to talk you down from wanting to take a drink. There have always been several people who
have answered when I have called, and they stay there and talk with me till I am ok. I do this for
others, too. We are there reaching out a hand, and too, having our hand held.
I have three sponsees in SL, another four in RL, and this is really rewarding to me . . . I learn a lot,
it keeps me sober and humble . . . I require of my SL sponsees that they go to RL meetings, and have an
RL sponsor, and working with them, working the Steps, or whatever they need, is a blessing.
I really appreciate your sending me the link to your Blog, I think it will be a valuable resource.